It’s an Escalator, People


Why on earth do apparently normal people on an escalator stop walking just before they get off at the top?

Seriously, people: are you that uncertain of the last step that you have to pause and judge the distance before leaping over the yawning  1-millimeter chasm? It’s not the Long Jump – it’s an escalator, people.

As a friend of mine said last weekend: You have the entire ride up the bloody thing to figure out what you’re going to do at the top. So, there’s no need to stand there like a lemming at the edge of a cliff (An apt analogy for commuters, I feel. Either that, or a salmon swimming upstream.)

Is the motion of the escalator too confusing for them? “Oh no, it’s moving, and then it’s still! What shall I do?”  I’ll tell you what to do, you idiot: Keep Walking.

Every time I get stuck behind some fat German tourist on the escalator, I realize again how New Yorkers get a bad name. Then again, shouldn’t a German appreciate the necessity of Order in Public Transport (I bet that’s all one word in German.)  Where’s that blitzkreig now, Fritz?

Perhaps they should consider the passenger side, or even the elevator. The left lane on the escalator is for grumpy commuters who are late on their way to work, and whose legs actually work. They’re a surly breed, and it’s dangerous to stop in front of them.

P.S. How did this turn into an anti-German issue? If this were Scrabble you’d get a bingo for that.

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2 Responses to “It’s an Escalator, People”

  1. clightnirish Says:

    The only thing that seems to confuse people more is the moving walkways in airports: “Oh my God! That’s like a flat escalator… what should I do?” I love the fact that so many people stop walking when they step on. It’s called a moving WALKway people, not a moving STANDway.

    Some airports have been smart enough to paint a line down the middle with the left side saying “walk” and the right saying “stand”. Still though, it’s too confusing for a lot of people to fathom and they stand right in the middle, straddling the line. I have never understood why… but perhaps they just need to write “stand” and “walk” in German also?

    — Irish

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