Dolphin Seen Trying to Kill Calf


From the BBC News website:

“Dolphins seen trying to kill calf”

At first when I saw the title, I thought: Sweet. An evil dolphin that jumps out and throttles cattle at the water’s edge. I could almost hear Bad Flipper yelling “dinner time!” as he went in for the kill, probably in the voice of Sean Connery*.

Alas, it’s not nearly that mundane. Apparently some dolphin males kill newborn dolphin calves, so that the female will become “sexually receptive” again within a few days.

These dolphins really need to get a hold of themselves. I know the unicorn-and-rainbow crowd will disagree, but I think this shows us: there’s nothing benign in nature. For decades, little girls and aquatic hippies showered praise on the supposedly caring, protective dolphin.

But here we find dolphins are a bunch of sluts. It’s shameless, really; look at this photo from the article:

Shameless hussy

Shameless hussy

Already she’s flashing herself about like a whore in a crowd of drunken sailors.

Flipper must be rolling in his grave. Or maybe Flipper was just a girly, outcast dolphin: the Zoolander of his species, if you will.

*I do think dolphins represented with a human voice should sound like Sean Connery.  If you picture it for a moment, you’ll see how fitting it is. Here’s a movie idea, Disney: A real dolphin story with Sean Connery’s voice. “Flipper II – Your Mother’s a Whore.”

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