Calipornication


Warning: This post is X-Rated, and not in a good way.

There’s a great deal of creativity in the porn industry, I’m sure. However, their movie naming skill has got to improve. When you shamelessly borrow from popular movie or show titles, do it well, or not at all.

I’ve got a few suggestions:

The Sperminator
He cums from the future.

Escape from Fire Island
Basically “Weekend at Bernie’s,” but gay, and without the dead body.

The Deadliest Snatch
There’s a killer on the loose.

Fists of Fury (No name change is needed for this one.)

Glory (Hole)
Starring a Matthew Broderick look-alike, with civil war uniforms, sans-trousers (riding boots worn at all times, though.)

Girl with a Pearl Necklace
She didn’t get it from Vermeer.

In Golden Pond
Yuck.

Hairy Potter and the Sorcerer’s Bone
This one is a solo effort.

Head Presidents
Hint: Involves cigars and a quibbling mis-definition of “Sexual Relations.”

LOLitas
It’s the latest craze: AIMporn.

Some of these titles might have been used already, but I urge the Porn industry to take me up on the other ones.

Speaking of which, we’d like to open the floor to readers’ suggestions for good movie names. We promise a 50% revenue share once we sell your ideas to Porn producers. Net, of course, not gross.

Clight

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