The Succubrix


Many people have derided the Blackberry and it’s role as an “electronic dogleash” – to quote the guy on the HSBC Soapbox ad. So I knew that caving into expectation and joining the “leashed” was a step backward for me. I immediately hated the expectation that I no longer have any personal time. But I had no idea just HOW evil this union between Blackberry and the world’s employers really was.

Until I opened the Applications folder. And then said “Oh, here is this brickbreaker game people seem to play all the time on the subway.”

At the time, I thought the little “woooosh” that I heard was the noise of the game starting. I only now realize that it was the first little piece of my soul being sucked from my thumbtip.

This game is just another weapon in our employers’ esteem-crushing armory. You thought there was a moment of solace, without a cell signal, where you were free. No-one evaluating or judging you. Maybe you could even play a game. But this is no game. It is a trap. Be warned.

Just as you were starting to get back a skeric of self esteem, after a day of complaining customers, your boss piling more on your plate while he goes to play golf, and your computer crashing just at the wrong moments (which your employer also controls BTW!) now you have to deal with the realization that you cannot even break some bricks with a little ball, even if they give you some guns and lasers.

It consumes your mind. Did I just lose two balls trying to get the last brick on that level? And why does the “flip” feature screw with my co-ordination so much? I am surprised I can walk without falling if that is any indication of my co-ordination!!!

And then as you get better, they really fuck with you! It starts pausing and jumping at critical moments. Balls pass through bricks they should bounce off. The ball squeezes through a non existent gap between the wall and your “paddle”.

Even the high score screen is designed to demoralize you. Only your one high score is shown. If you happen to score only 10 points less than your best ever, there is no consolation prize. No “hey, good job, that’s your second highest score ever!”. Just a virtual middle finger, telling you “you failed again, you useless bastard!”

And with that the “wooshing” stops – as your last wisp of soul disappears.

— Irish

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2 Responses to “The Succubrix”

  1. I think Brickbreaker is an apt life education system that metaphorically explains that life is not always fair and that if you work hard (ie. put in at least 100 hours of play) you can gain ‘above average’ results 🙂

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