Stationary When Wet


There is a lot of fear in the US about how long it has been since a significant act of terrorism, and constant speculation about how the next might come about: siuicide bombers, weapons attack, biological warfare. We live in a time of increased security in airports and subway systems, public and commercial buildings, and when a deodorant stick bigger than three ounces is considered a suspicious potential weapon.

Yet if terrorists did want to bring this country to its knees, they only need turn to Hollywood villains like Mr Freeze, or Sean Connery’s villain in The Avengers. Granted their plans are a bit more fantastical, but one thing is true: nothing brings this country to it’s knees like a decent bit of water falling from the sky, in any form.

In the last two days I have experienced first hand the chronic delays and cancellations in the air transport system that blew in with the first (very predictable) snowstorm of the season in Chicago; and the choking crowds and delays of the MTA subway in NYC that come everytime the city gets a decent drizzle and it all – rain and extra people – starts seeping down to the train tunnels.

It’s unbelievable how often it happens, and how predictable it should be but every time there are problems. This country is more sensitive to water than the Wicked Witch of The West.

So if you are a friendly neighborhood terrorist reading this somewhere, put down your plans for a nuclear weapon… the smartest, most crippling move at this point would be to work on a “cloud of mass precipitation”.

— Irish

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