TV killed the “everything” star


Scene: work lunch table. We sit discussing how funny Joel McHale’s ribbing of “Jersey Shore” was on “The Soup”. Then a colleague comments about the beautiful abstract painting she completed last night. And why does she manage to achieve this even though “the man” works her to death as much as us?

She doesn’t have a TV.

She catches the odd show on Hulu, but doesn’t get sucked in by the warm glow every night that melts away the hours from 8-midnight.

This got me thinking. We don’t do a lot of stuff that people did before TV. Countless sociologists have lamented lost family quality time, and nutritionists have lamented lost exercise. But painting? That’s TRULY important. I never thought about that. Everyone used to paint or arrange flowers or do something practical or artistic. And you know what else…?

People just don’t crotchet doilies any more: tables sit dusty or scarred with coffee ring marks, because no-one remembers how to make a suitable decorative covering.

People never duel anymore: who has time for “pistols at dawn”, when you could be catching Al Roker telling you the weather in a city you will never visit. (For your part in this travesty, I throw down my gauntlet to you Mr. Roker!)

People don’t form old fashioned mobs and run through the streets with pitchforks and flaming torches anymore: and let’s face it, we have plenty to complain about… failed health care reforms, ongoing wars, the recession. Is it too much to ask for just one CEO to be lynched for his outrageous bonus this year?

And given it’s a recession, why do we never make time to experiment with a little alchemy. I have a bunch of lead I’d love to turn into gold. It’s mainly in my Chinese toothpaste.

But let’s not do it tonight because there is a new episode of Iron Chef on, plus I DVR’d last week’s Dexter.

— Irish

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