All I DON’T want for Xmas


So it’s that week again of office parties and the much maligned Secret Santa or Yankee Swap shopping woes. I can’t tell you what to get, but here is a tip. Nothing that can also be found in Skymall – no matter how “kitschy” it seems. Just don’t!

I mean, has anyone reading this EVER bought anything from Skymall? Seriously, I would like to hear if anyone – or anyone anyone knows even – ever felt the need to order rock-shaped outdoor speakers while commuting from Denver to Detroit.

Unless I just missed the Williamsburg trend for wearing lawn-aerating sandals out on the town, nothing in Skymall is as good as you think up there… that’s in-flight boredom fooling you.

Take the Snuggie: we must have been using blankets for 3000 years by now. Why do we suddenly need sleeves?

How about the In-home Old Style Theater Popcorn Machine? Have you ever dropped over to a friend’s joint and wished they could make 20lbs of popcorn for you?

And how many people boast the combination of being just nerdy enough AND also having a spare 12ft wall to put up the World’s Biggest Wallpaper Crossword Puzzle? I’ll give you a clue: “12 ACROSS: Fewer than one”.

Someone famously said that this type of “as seen on TV” stuff “is not for buying, it’s for giving”.

That guy must just plain hate people. I feel sorry for whoever he has for Secret Santa.

— Irish

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