The Inherent Communism of Bottle Service


Out on the town recently, I was surprised to hear one of my more conservative, right-leaning, ultra-capitalist friends vocally supporting the decision to opt for bottle service at our chosen drinking establishment that evening.

You know the principle. Instead of constantly waiting for a waitress or hitting up the bar every 20 minutes, you pay for a couple of bottles of liquor at your table and they just keep the mixers coming.

“It’s definitely the best way to go”, this friend touted, which I have to say surprised me from this guy. Not because he is not a drinker. He is. Nor because he is not a fan of conspicuous consumption. He is. But it surprised me because he is such an outspoken conservative and bottle service as a concept could be described as “nightclub communism”.

Think about it this way: by choosing bottle service, the group is endorsing that – in order to provide the optimal enjoyment for everyone that evening – not only will we equalize where we will be, what music we will hear and the company we will keep, but also remove any chance for the bourgeoisie to establish themselves through their selection of top shelf whiskey or aged French wine – and dictate that you all will drink the same thing and that the cost burden will then be equally shared across the total “community”.

Sounds fine to me, but from a friend that is usually so fond of class structures and capitalist ideals, came as a surprising choice.

And to top it all off… What were in the two bottles that he (I believe) chose? Stolichnaya Vodka, of course.

Nice choice, comrade. Maybe you are finally coming around.

— Irish

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4 Responses to “The Inherent Communism of Bottle Service”

  1. I think socialism may be a more apt description of this event. While only a certain type of beverage was provided free of charge (welfare, if you will), the community was able to choose their own beverage of choice at the bar located nearby at a cost to themselves.

  2. hmmmm….Sounds a lot more like sharing than comunism to me. There is a difference between being fiskally responsible while playing nice like your mother taught you and the all encompassing equilibrium imposed by the failed social ideology of communist socialism. Nice piece of writing though but perhaps you were fishing for meaning a little too much. Truth be told, bottle service is capitalism at its best, “buy one get one free”, “while you’re here try the steak”. Bulk purchase is a consumer driven idea…hence, capitalism.

  3. clightnirish Says:

    Luke, as you say, the motivations were, without doubt, Capitalist — after all the whole charade was a way to suggest “we are better than all you common folk”. But where would the fun have been in pointing that out? 😉

  4. clightnirish Says:

    Also, apologies on behalf of “WordPress for iPhone that a chunk of text was missing from the middle. Now corrected to its intended final form.

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