Hey Mutton, does Lamb know you borrowed that dress?

I received a hilarious Facebook message recently from “New Jersey Nets Basketball”: the exclusive Top 10 Video Moments of the Week.

Now, I love the New Jersey Nets, but there’s no way I am buying that. I wouldn’t even buy that with someone else’s money. I wouldn’t even accept your own money just to take that pile of junk off your hands.

Come on guys, at that point the team had won 3 out of 42 games (yay! They have since one a fourth), set a record for a season-opening losing sequence (18 losses) and hadn’t won in a month. Can you really – with a straight face – have 10 top moments in yet another week you were beat up on by a bunch of mediocre teams?

It’s like Toyota’s sickeningly patronizing “judge us on the quality of our response to our fuck-ups, not on the calamitous scale of the fuck-ups themselves” advertising airing right now. If you made crappy brake systems and throttles, why should we love you for fixing them? So you bloody well should.

I silently hoped that these entities really don’t believe they’re fooling anybody with their trite drivel!

But that’s when I realized, holy shit, they actually ARE fooling not just “anybody” but “many bodies” . The “likes” on the Nets’ Facebook video were into double digits before it had even been up for half an hour, and people were actually commenting on the great chances of wins coming soon. And pundits were applauding the efficiency and commitment of Toyota in the face of adversity.

Is there anything that you can’t convince people to believe these days with some slick social media or a snappy TV ad or soundbite?

This just in: Clight N Irish has the fastest growing readership of any blog on the Interwebs, is the official homepage of the Sultan of Brunei, and can cure acne if applied liberally 3 times a day.

— Irish


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