LeopardWatch: ‘Downhill Debacle’ Ruins Revelry

Leopard Lovers have been left with an empty afternoon and unneeded party reservations across the globe as “Spotted Sunday” was wiped off the calendar, by – you guessed it – SNOW!

The Men’s Slalom – the first chance to see Kwame “The Snow Leopard” Nkrumah-Acheampong represent Ghana in Olympic competition – was pushed from Sunday to Tuesday because Whistler had fallen prey to another snowstorm, and the course was annoyingly covered in snow, forcing all events to move back a few days.

In what at least one website (this one) has labeled the “Downhill Debacle”, Vancouver officials are now in grave danger of not fitting in all the events before the closing ceremony. Only one of four men’s events have gone ahead.  Men’s race director Guenter Hujara is optimistic: “I’m always optimistic… No panic at all”.  Then why are your knees shaking, Guenter?

Bars across the globe will probably remain closed or empty and ratings will likely plummet, as NBC has been forced to fill its schedule with the door-busting excitement of Curling.

So, forget Spotted Sunday, now it will have to be “Take-a-Sickie Tuesday” as millions of fans are forced to “Spot Up” during business hours on Tuesday.  “I believe this is a sly Canadian attempt to reduce American productivity,” said one major employer.

If you happen to feel a little ill on Tuesday morning, tune in at 9:30am and 1pm US EST for the first and second runs, respectively.

That is, of course, unless it snows again.

— Irish


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