iCaramba!! …an open letter to Steve Jobs

Mr. Steve Jobs
CEO
Apple, Inc
1 Infinite Loop
Cupertino, CA

Dear Steve,

I’m a Mac. No two ways about it. I write every blog post on my iPhone. I design our Clight’n’Irish merchandise on a MacBook Pro. Once, when seriously asking friends what I should get tattooed, the fastest response from a very good friend was “the Apple logo”.

But, oh, Mr. Jobs — how thou art a cruel and greedy demi-god! Must you constantly put temptation in my way to test me? (“Apple” is such an apt name for your brand.)

Some of your temptations are irresistable – like when you made mouses “Magic” (I knew one day you would reveal your power of sorcery!). But, I must ask you… how many different ‘screens’ do I really need in my life?

I have the 2-inch screen on my iPod photo (plus the discarded Classics in a drawer somewhere). Then there’s the 4-inch screen on my iPhone (x2 actually: 2G and 3G), and I have a 14″ screen on my MacBook (plus an older 13″ iBook still kicking around).

But now you indulge my weakness for silicon (chips, not boobs) further with this additional 9-inch morsel of perfect design and style, which you call “iPad”.

Well, in this case Mr. Jobs, I say ‘nay’. I “pod”. I “phone”. I still “book” and I still “sight”, even. I “life” and I “tune” and I “photo” and I “chat” and I “cal”.

But I choose NOT to “pad”.

It looks cool as all hell, and dead sexy, and I am sure I will recommend it to anyone who is not already weighed down with five connected devices, but for me, enough is enough. My wallet is sore and besides… I have no pockets or electrical sockets left.

I hope I have not disappointed you too much with this decision. Just please, I pray, don’t smite me for my indignance.

— Irish