…there’s an app for THAT?

So now that more than half a million people have iPads, it got me wondering… should there be a clight’n’irish “app”? And if so, what would it do?

There's an app for that? Not yet 😉

Allow you to read clight’n’irish on your iPhone or iPad?  There’s already many apps for that.  Allow you to surf to our c’n’i shop? There’s already an app for that.  Allow you to go to Facebook and join the fan page started for us? There’s an app for that, too. Watch Jonathan Dutton plug our site on YouTube? App for that. IM a friend to tell them about a post they will like? App for that.  Comment on a blog? App for that, too.

All this got me to thinking… what is there NOT an app for these days?  What is the most “not connected to the idea of a smartphone” thing I can think of and is there an app for that?  The answers are astounding. 

The Y chromosomes in my brain obviously first think of the toilet whenever trying to be humorous. Toilet?: there’s a bunch of Apps for that.  From the actually quite useful (‘National Public Toilet Map’) to the down-right bizarre (‘Pee Monkey Toilet Trainer’).

Okay, so App developers are also juvenile-minded males. Let’s go for the opposite direction. Something for girls they probably wouldn’t put on their phones… Bra’s? There are plenty of apps for that – from correct fitting to converting your size if you are buying in Tokyo.  How about “that time of the month“? Plenty of apps for that too… not just to track your own cycle, but those of your friends as well (presumably to block those days out for any social events in your calendar app!). And one for guys to track their GFs’ cycles. No, that apostrophe’s in the right place… it allows you to track more than one GF at a time.  Dodgy buggers! (As if any guy that can program an iPhone app ever had multiple on the go at once.)

Okay, so we have to go either really, really gross (nope, “AppSmear” already asks you to take a pic of your ‘va-jay-jay’ and then will pretend to tell you if you have signs of delightful STDs like chlamydia or syphilis) or really weird “niche topics”. So here goes:

Lawn care? ‘TurfgrassManagement’ app for that.
Macrame? There’s a section in the WikiHow app for that.
Tofurkey? You can buy it with the FreshDirect app.
Zippers? “Zips” allows you to put a zipper on your favorite pic (let’s face it, that is a bloody useful addition to society!).
Acne? There’s the “Zits and Giggles” app for that.

How about Lint? Lint is the most innane, boring thing there is (except for Jimmy Kimmel Live). Nup… “pocket lint” has that covered, at least in name.

And then I found it… “collars“. That quiet, barely mentioned part of your shirt around your neck.  No, not dog collars. I know there are apps to teach you how to use those anti-bark ones.  I mean “shirt collars”… they deserve an app… after all, they’re the bit that makes a shirt “not a t-shirt”. So, collars it is! 

We will make a clight’n’irish app that celebrates collars… I am damned if I know HOW it will celebrate collars (a simple randomized “to pop or not?” app??), but you guys are a creative bunch… I am sure you’ll come up with something to help us out.

— Irish


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