Don’t Push the Wrong Button

It’s official people… nowhere is safe anymore. Not even your couch.

Because if you have Time Warner Cable, then there is danger lying beneath the buttons on your cable remote.

If this were a cable TV documentary, about now is where we would cut to a curly haired blond guy with a crooked nose that still just doesn’t quite look like me, sitting on a couch not quite like mine, next to a girl that looks a little like mine, but not really.

“Irish was just trying to wind down and watch Jon Stewart, when an overly loud advertisement for The University of Phoenix caused him to reach for the ‘volume down’ button” (cut to close up on button) “But then things went terribly wrong” (dastardly music) “…when Irish pushed the ‘channel down’ button instead.”

You see folks, in some bizarrely cruel or inherently stupid programming decision, one station ‘down’ from Comedy Channel – home of the very “blue state” Daily Show – is ….. aaaaaaaaargh, Fox News!!!

Even worse, switch down by accident at 11pm and you go from Jon Stewart to the worst possible thing imaginable… Bill O’Reilly. It’s like having your family’s peaceful Thanksgiving Dinner crashed by a crazy redneck trying to shoot your already Roasted Turkey. Like having your nativity play paused for an advertisement for the Klan.

Who planned this, seriously? I mean come on. Whichever side of the fence you sit on, one click up or one click down, and you are watching the product of your worst possible nightmares. I can only imagine the horror of Republicans that tune in for their daily lecture from Captain Windbag and accidentally are exposed to, you know… entertainment and modern thought.

Time Warner, please put a greater gap between these stations on your channel listing. After this mistake tonight, I had to watch some of Saw V on demand just so I could sleep without nightmares.

— Irish


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