Jack fell down, and broke the economy
America is in trouble. I’ve wanted to ignore the signs, but unfortunately, now the worst sign of all is being advertised on TV, in the subway, seemingly everywhere I look.
As China, India and Brazil continue to grow their economic power, America continues to make economic decisions that defy any logic. Despite record unemployment and hunger – and with financial protests clogging Wall Street – America continues to find frivolous garbage to throw it’s money into. But now, it has gone too far… someone has to call “shenanigans” on the egregious wastefulness. So I want to call out the most offensive waste of money I have seen in many years.
Who the hell decided that it would be a good idea to spend a few million dollars financing the film “Jack & Jill”? What type of hallucinogenic drug were they force-fed for weeks before deciding that was a good investment? No-one in their right mind would ever want to see Adam Sandler play his own female twin – let alone give him money to do it. Even Rob Schneider must have been questioning the sanity of this one.
This catastrophe highlights what is wrong with the American economy: no-one seems willing to tell anyone else that maybe they should NOT waste their money on dumb shit. Where are the ‘level-headed voices of reason’ saying, “hey, Mr Sandler, perhaps instead you should invest that money in some local small businesses”? Or “hey, Mariah, maybe your baby doesn’t need the diamond crusted iPods”? Or “hey, why don’t we go without the $34,000 dessert?“. And “hey, President Bush, maybe we should spend that war money on saving American industry”?
But worst of all, Mr Sandler is going to ask the cash-strapped middle-class to go out to the cinema so he can take their money to bail him out from his own stupidity. Hell, why not? It worked for Detroit and Wall St!
So I officially call “Shenanigans!”, and ask everyone in America who even thinks about going to watch this movie at cinemas, to instead donate your $12.50 ticket price to The Jack & Jill Foundation, who will use the money to groom today’s children into the leaders of tomorrow. Hell, donate the $15 you would spend on a small Coke and popcorn too, and make a real difference.
Hopefully they’ll encourage the type of leader that would say, “sorry, Mr Sandler, I’m going to have to take that wig from you!”