In a joint press conference today in Washington, the colors Red and Blue denied reports of a long-waged public rift between them, as portrayed in the media.
“Red and I go way back and are actually great friends,” said Blue. “Our families summer together every year at Lake George.”
“We are sick of the frequent misuse of our identities by mainstream media to represent warring factions or intense competitors,” explained Red.
“Election years are particularly annoying to us. All this Red states vs Blue states rubbish!” he added. “And neither of us sees a dime from either the political parties or the news media. Kobe Bryant or Kim Kardashian would never stand for their images being used without their permission. Why should we?”
Their disappointment was not just aimed at the world of politics, but also to other “egregious misrepresentations” that suggest they are constantly at loggerheads, such as Coke vs Pepsi and Yankees vs Redsox.
The two colors also played down rumors that the color White had mediated a peace between them.
“That’s a common misconception,” said Blue. “People seem to think Red and I don’t get along, but if White is in the mix then something changes and suddenly Red, White and Blue are a united team.”
“Truth be told, White is a bit of a dick actually. Neither of us really like him.”